Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
