Soap is not a condiment
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
