No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
