thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
