All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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