May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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