he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
