I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize