Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
