So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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