If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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