Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
