Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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