Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
