some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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