Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
