He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
