we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We don't watch enough power rangers
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
