Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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