just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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