The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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