the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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