I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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