I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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