Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
