remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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