I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
