we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
