it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
