Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
