i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
soo... how was my night?
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