I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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