too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
