Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
