I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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