The maid of honor just puked.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
