so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
