The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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