Do vagina's smell?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
