I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
