He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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