You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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