we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
