and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
