can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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