And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
