Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well you can't waste a boner
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
