Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize