she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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