He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize