You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
