Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
