Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
