So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
NoShamevember. You game?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
