so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
