I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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