i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
