Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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