I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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